I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
so much tequila, so little girl.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
