while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
