She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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