Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
