well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
