No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
