so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
