I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
