Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
