Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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