Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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