Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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