No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
