I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We had sex on a dog bed..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize