handjob tips. give me some.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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