my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
