Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
