We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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