she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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