I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
