Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
