Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
