Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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