I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i think my tv is drunk
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
