i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
