i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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