Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i out mim tonsoeep
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