there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
