My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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