idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
