this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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