There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
