so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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