Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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