the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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