No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you guys were way drunker than both of me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
nutella sex= disaster
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
