Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
