tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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