Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
