I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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