were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize