Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
