i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His hands were made for my vagina.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
