So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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