I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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