im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
