I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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