Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
