Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
