My friends, they love my intelligence
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
vagina is talking i cant
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
